I would like to openly discuss with you on this occasion the subject of the ‘inner self’ and the construction of our personality. Personalities are intricate aspects of ourself and they the core of how we operate. There are many layers to one person and again upbringing and childhood circumstances play a large part of the formation of an individual’s personality.

I am going to openly discuss myself here for there to be an understanding of how I work and how perceptions of society and upbringing has affected me to this day. I will openly discuss myself so that I hope you can delve into yourself and bring out the strengths and build upon those. To be dissipate the norms and the excess negative energy will help you in re-focusing your core. In determining your requirements from life and achieving the goals that you have set. May this be in your personal or professional life; as the two marry together. There is not one without the other. How you personify yourself is very important; as we are impacting other lives around us but you we may not be aware of this. To be aware of your true self and the others around you can take a lifetime but if you gain this spiritual journey you are moving towards the goal.

A little history about myself and where my identity and personality has arisen from. I am Bangladeshi of descent originating from Dhaka but born in Narayangonj and moved to the UK when I was one years old. My life here was led by one strict mother who is a strong believer in Islam and not so strict father who had a liberal mindset for an Bangladeshi Asian. My ethnicity brought on a few of my own dilemmas especially as I did not look typically Asian of descent (partially Arabic of origin) but also my upbringing was truly quite different than other typical Asian families out there.

There is strong research that indicates that your upbringing plays a strong part on your identity and the personality you lead in later life. There is quite difference between a happy and sad childhood, to other factors involved when being raised by parents. I disclose information about mine for you to get an understanding of what I am discussing. The Howlader family has been led by strong female figures how often took on the role of what the stereotypical male would encompass. Already, from a young age the gender norms have been changed. My mother married my father at the age 16.5 years old, she took the role of wife, daughter in law, mother and head of a family. She was the glue that held it together my father was hardly at home with the restaurant business and also being a translator for the immigration.

When the roles are shifted you are juxtaposition of the norms, as they are broken. My mother may have taken on multiple roles and responsibilities as they were required but due to this; her temperament as a mother was never the best. She was cold, aloof and ambitious. She was maternal are rare times and her expectations were set at a bar that near impossible. My elder sister of 7.5 years was also another strong figure; first in line and the world was taken with her. Without going into too much detail I also have two younger brothers each three years younger than the 37 years I am now. My younger brothers and I had a close relationship due to them being more similar in age to me. This also meant most of my friends were my brother’s friends, we spent our childhood playing football in the park and video games. This you may even find rather surprising. There is an importance I am trying to bring out here that links back to my personality – I led a happy childhood but there many other factors that shook my equilibrium to led me the person I am today.

What are norms and cultural identities when they are misplaced?

When the norms of society are juxtaposed you get someone like me. Sometimes, I fit very well in a conversation, in life and a situation. My beliefs and values of strong parenting and loving parents have created a sense of wholeness but this wholeness is never complete. Strong women mean that maternal traits are often dropped and a more musculine approach is ttaken in life and also bringing up your own children. The emotions you feel become more clinical and you piecemeal emotions to be able to deal with them; if you do deal with them at all.

How do we harness our personality and pull out the strengths?

To feel the inner beauty that your personality offers you then you need to become accepting of what has happened previously in your life. We are all seeking the same childhood disposition but in different manners – this is to seek love, happiness and attention. For this to happen, you need to begin loving yourself first. Many of us had experienced things in our past but it has we take the negativity or that posistive and utitlise the growth mindset to bring forward and takes your destiny in your hands.

It is now time to take a step out of your physical body. Spirituality of the soul and heart can be reached if you allow yourself to see beyond the material obstacles we set ourselves in lives. For some, this will always be purely nonsensical and they will not understand why it is necessary to take these actions in life. This just means that are not at that path in their life; where they are seeking something more and they are not really seeing the beauty of what is around them.

What does this mean for myself? I have touched in various elements of personality and upbringing but I have not really taken a part what personalities consist of. I have not spoken about human emotions that make up a person; which is love, hurt, anger, passion, sympathy, empathy, disgust, happiness, sadness, contempt and fear. Rationality is derived from the emotions we feel. This is why a mass murderer can easily come to mind; as they hold all the extreme emotions with a fragmented childhood and broken mind.

What about attraction to others? Personality types attract similar personality types?

Stacy Lynn Harp, a clinically trained marriage and family therapist in Tennessee, believes most of us attract people we have things in common with. “Likeness attracts likeness. It’s actually a myth that opposites attract,” Harp told Medical Daily in an email. “Those who are seeking people who are similar understand that long term compatibility is more likely with someone who is like themselves.”

Healthy and happy relationships will grow and foster when couples share the same values and beliefs. When communication is used openly and upbringings are similar. I am not saying that social status does not matter in this equation because this can also play a part; but without providing further supplementary information I cannot provide to me feedback on this.

The people we connect ourselves to are a strong interpretation of ourself and how the values and beliefs of that group are shared. There is a common goal or glue holding the circle together to keep the circle flowing. Once, someone changes their perception or values or beliefs than they become alien to that group as they are not functioning with the group norms that are set in place. So, how we select friends is very pivotal in our perception of ourselves and how we are established or move forward in life.

I have not spoken about the other aspects of personality; which is honesty and integrity. We live in a world where it is easy to hide behind different guises. Facebook, Instragram, Twitter and all of the others give us a vessel to communicate to the external world without different guises that can be true and false. We are allowing the view us in certain ways and if you are not serial PI (private investigator) like myself; you are easily believe the information firsthand of what is given. Trust given out too freely and then you can be betrayed in what you see or hear. This is the cynical part of myself speaking if you are to seek inner peace and rely on your spirituality then you could debate that is one not proven fault until one has created a fault in the first place. This I am trying to take on further but past experiences lead me to be wary and this you should; as deception is easy with the world wide web.

I hope you have enjoyed this update. The discussion about personal identity; I think I could discuss the topic much longer but I will break it down into chapters for you to want to come back and read again very soon!

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