When the soul is whole,

The heart is feeling,

You are winning.

Are you that winner?

[Mary Panwaskar]

The first fourteen years of my life was spent being very shy and behind the coat tails of a much older beautiful sister. I was always very bookish and preferred solitary hours alone then the social parties my mother held. There was one social event my mother organised that I shall never forget. Where there was a photo moment, which I did not want to be involved in. I just wanted to enjoy my book that I was reading.

My sister was loving the limelight and she also did not understand why I didn’t want to take any photos. Asian people take photographing very seriously! This is not just a smile and snap moment. This is a moment to hold the full bloom roses and smile with them like they are your best friend. Hold hands with the stranger and smile like you are best friends. So, you can see that the idea of taking a photo can be quite off-putting.

There were of course many reasons holding me back over the early years: lack of confidence, extreme shyness and my age, plus other aspects. I am sure there are many embarrassing moments that we all face in our lives that we just cannot forget even if we tried. From the story above you would never have guessed that I spent my young years being incredibly shy and I lacked so much confidence. Well, I am not lacking any confidence anymore!

What is the authentic self?

Be authentic to yourself. Be real, true to your personal identity and do not dilute what you believe in. Be mindful to others and show respect, love and care to yourself and ones around you.

Fives rules to staying authentic:

Loss of power and feeling inauthentic

  • Take full ownership and responsibility of your actions.
  • Look at your conversations

How do we behave in conversations?

  • Do we respect speech of others?
  • Do we listen?

Be accepting that with different people we take on a different personas

  • Life is life a play and we are performing different scripts dependent on who we are with
  • We will always be at ease with some people then others due to the relationship held. This is the same for the emotions shown to those

Alignment of the self

  • Do you have your best interest at heart?
  • Have you made the right choices to justify the actions you are taking
  • Commitments will be made but have you over promised?

How do you come across when you make requests?

  • We all want everything now this does not mean it will happen now. Amend your language and re-analyse how you communicate that message
  • Have we fulfilled our part of the bargain? It is all great we make requests/demands but what have you inputted into the equation?


Authentic: Genuine; not false or endorsed.

Self: Your physical and mental being with all its human and unique characteristics.

Authentic Self: The true you; aligned and congruent, self image, stature, values beliefs, goals, behavior, word, and public image.

The exploration of the self and staying authentic is a life long journey. It is about including a combination of skills, abilities, talents, insights, experiences, wisdom, purpose, memories and beliefs. It is how you express your core values and your strengths. Our authentic nature will be revealed in different circumstances and people. This is a spiritual journey that will include the heart and the soul. Authenticity and communication is essential on this journey. Allow yourself to be guided by the inner dialogue you carry out with yourself. Take time to reflect and re-analyse your goals and ambitions.

When you become more authentic you will find that you become more: rational, realistic, intuitive, creative, independent, flexible, willing to change, respectful, fair, accept blame and correct mistakes. Below are some quotes to inspire you:


  • Know thyself.” ~Socrates(470–399 BC)

  • Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” ~Confucius(551 – 479 BC)

  • Popularity is not self-respect.” ~ Nathaniel Branden

  • Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too.” ~ Voltaire, in Essays on Tolerance

  • Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

  • Wherever you go, there you are.” ~

  • The self that emerges through play is the core authentic self.” ~ Stuart Brown.

  • These two simple processes—triggering intrigue and sustaining interest—are at the heart of a fulfilling life.” ~ Todd Kashdan

  • Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.” ~ Janis Joplin

Thank you for taking the time to read the entry about ‘Authenticity of the Self‘. Please take the time to send some feedback. I am keenly waiting to hear back from you.

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