It has been sometime since I last wrote an entry due to some constraints that required my intimidate attention away from this site. In one of the previous entries, I discussed how to ‘create authentic moments’ and on this occasion, I would like us to delve into the realm of ‘Attracting the Right People in Life’. If we have found that we can authentic and natural, then it is crucial that we are surrounded by the right friends, family and acquiescence’s in our lives.
We are part of a group from infancy, as you can say that a family unit can be considered as a group. A child will learn about norms, social values and “do’s and don’ts” of how you would socially interact. The family unit is the primary vehicle that will influence how you would consider socialisation through interaction. We already begin to create social patterns from the values, attitudes and beliefs we hold. This is where our personality is formed and socialization norms are installed into human beings to create a foundation of socio-norms for future sceneries.
The secondary type of group that we experience are from the neighbourhood we live in, schools, playground, peers, friends, clubs and professional organisations you may belong too. There are various reasons why you create groups, this can be for informal and formal reasons to fulfil power, prestige, recognition, friendship, security or other common interest hobbies. When you form a positive a social group you are able to develop and extend the skill set you host. However, when you enter a negative group then you are entering into a group that will only create negative repercussions from the actions you take. The reason why groups are formed is due to the emotions that are created, a sense of belonging, cooperation. Competition, giving, sacrifice, giving, taking are parts of the formations of groups are created.
Group is defined by Baron and Byrne (1988) as follows:
“Groups consist of two or more persons engaged in social interaction who have some stable structure relationship with one another, are interdependent, share common goals and perceive that they are in fact part of a group.” Thus when two or more individuals gather together to serve a common purpose or common motive it is called a group.
Keeping all of this in mind, groups are formed with a common purpose in mind. If we can keep those common purposes in light with the outcome of desires then we will be better served in our purposes or requirements. To attract the right people in the groups that we are wishing to formulate than it is integral that we are ask the right questions before allowing ourselves to enter the group. There will always be an occasion that we will need to be part of a group that we may not want to be part of. However, there are still methods to stay true to ourselves without losing sight of the mutual goal at hand.
How can we achieve this?
By staying approachable and asking the right questions. When you are ask open questions that lead to the recipient offering information this will give you the best idea of whether you are speaking to someone who is being trustworthy and honest. There is unconscious behaviour being shared with individuals in several different sceneries that we are not paying enough attention too. These will be reflected by our childhood experiences and what we believe is being right or wrong. For some the moral and ethical aspects of our value system will come into play.
The use of language will play a large part of how we communicate with one another. Often, we are not paying attention or we have not asked the relevant question, which then does not offer or present the information required. The information presented will only come when the individual feels trust and finds you approachable. In business and our personal lives it is important that we show our heart, our passions our motivations to want to succeed in our vision. If the recipient or audience cannot view your vision or you have carried out your due diligence then the information you may locate or be up heaved later will be much more of shock. We will unconsciously promote certain behaviours but these signals shown can mean several different behavioural patterns. If you closely do not analyse the scenario and contributing factors then you will miss information. Often, the actions we carry out will highlight much more then the words we utter.
If you offer sincerity and honesty via the connections you make. You may likely be able to connect with like-minded people. It all depends on where you also seek to make connections with people. We have the power to create internal personal growth but whom we take on the journey will play a large part of how we are affected by their attitudes and opinions, which then affect our personal growth journey. You are more likely to drive success by being with people who create success or are success orientated. It important and integral to ensure that if personal growth is required then the circles you keep will play a large part in Attracting The Right People. We can view the signs of disingenuous people very early on in a relationship or partnership but it is up to the individual to be able to see it and recognise it for what it is.
The Next Steps:
Create eye contact with the person you are speaking with
- Ask open questions
- Listen to the words that are uttering and the meaning behind the actions and words
- Use integrity, honesty and openness
- Ensure you have some fun whilst seeking to attract the right people
- Use your heart and soul
Bear in mind, that not all contacts will hold mutual partnerships or goals
I leave you with the above and the best of luck with making healthy, fruitful partnerships.